Friendship

In life you run across numerous people that you can consider a friend. As I have gotten older and started to really think, I have realized there is a huge line between real friends and just casual/party friends. Yes, there can be people that are your best friend and also a party friend, but for the most part they fall into certain categories, and over time you have to start deciding which group is most important to you and who you want to be spending your time with.

I am a very social person, so by nature I have a lot of casual/party friends. These are everyone, that I may see out at bars a lot. Over time we have become friends and we hang out, but we are not really close and the important things in my life have no bearing or importance to them. How is my life going, who am I dating, how's my job, etc....Things like that and other things important to me, are of no meaning to them. To those friends, the things that are important is what bar are we drinking at, which game should we bet on, can I get them any drugs, etc...To them, if I am not out at a bar or I decide I want to hang out, but I am not drinking heavy with them, there response is along the lines of me being a pussy or me being no fun. They only know me as someone they can have fun with, and they have never bothered to take the time to actually know me. In actuality, they should be saying, Jason-I see you aren't at the bars as much or you haven't been drinking as much, is everything ok with you?? The bottom line is this group of friends is great to have to hang out with, but in my overall life, it is becoming clearer and clearer that I need to distance myself from this group and become closer with the group that actually cares about me, and not about what bar I went to and if I was blacked out or not.

The other group of friends I have are the group that I consider my good and best friends. Yes, the majority of these people are also party friends and people I go out with, but that is mainly because I choose to spend my time with them. we can have a good time together at a bar, but at the same time we can have a good time just sitting and watching tv, or just grabbing food, or playing golf; mainly we can have a good time without having it have to be at a bar or huge social setting. These people care about my life and the decisions I make in my life, and they may not talk to me about all the time and ask me about it all the time( we are guys, and not everyone is as open and a dork as I am), but I know they care and I know that if I need something or someone to talk to,they will be there for me. These are the friends that I need to stay close with and even try to get closer too.

I fell over the last 2 years or so, I have let the first group of my friend control me and the majority of my decisions, and it's time for me to not only take control back of my own life, but at the same time start to shy away from that first group, and only hang out with them on my time and my terms, not because they are all out at a bar and they want me to come hang out with them, because if I didn't' come up and hang out with them, they wouldn't care at all and they probably wouldn't even notice if I was there or not. I do have a group of people in that first category that I know I could be good friends with, the question is will they ever see past the partying and the drinking to notice it.