not what you think

Last night me and Chris ended up at Lils until midnight. It was a very random and weird story how we ended out, especially since we were relaxing and getting ready to both go to bed at around 1015. The point is, when we were out with the guys that got us to go out, one of them started talking to me and what he said made me think a lot about the perception that is out there of me, and then this morning, I realized that people are going to have a certain perception of me, and I cant waste my time worrying about it and trying to change people's mind. All I can do is keep living my life.

The one guy we were with, I have not hung out with in about 6-8 months. He failed to believe that this was the latest I had been out on a weeknight in a long time. He kept saying, I know you, I know how you party, you do this stuff all the time. My first reaction was to defend myself and explain to him, that I am never out that late on a school night, and even though I play a lot of social sports, I can have a beer or two after, but I am always home by 1030 at the latest. Instead, I just told him it wasn't like that and let it slide. 2 months ago, I would have defended myself, because I would have been so worried about what people thought of me, but now I am over it.

Then, he was getting ready to tell me about his plans for moving away, and before he said anything, he prefaced it with " well, I guess if I tell you everyone will know", then he went to tell me his story. The point is, that yes years ago I did tend to tell people stories if they asked or if it came up in a conversation, but now I am at the point, where I have my own life, and worrying about other people's lives and telling there stories isn't something I do. I have some friends like Brad and Wes, who trust me with everything, and tell me everything, and I have other so called best friends, that are still hesitant about telling me anything. How can you call yourself my best friend, and not be open and honest with me?

I am at the point now, where I don't really care about either of these things, I just think its funny, how people can still me view one way, when in actuality I am 180 degrees different, but they will never take the time or make the effort to find out.