Finally Happy

For once in my life( I just wanted to start with that line bc I am listening to Stevie Wonder right now) I am finally truly happy. Yes, there are certain things in my life that are not going exactly the way I want them, and they could be better, but overall, I am finally happy.

For as long as I can remember, I have never really been happy. I have acted happy, and put on a bunch of fronts, but there were always things that were keeping me from truly being happy.

I now find myself in a state of mind I am not used to feeling, and I realized last week, that the feeling was just me being happy. I do not want this feeling to go away, and I am sure there are numerous reasons that are playing into this and making me feel this way, and I just hope that this feeling does not go away.

For the last 3+ months, I have tried changing my life around, and I think that these changes are the main reason I am finally happy with my life. I have now completely stopped smoking pot, and I have never felt better. Also, I haven't totally stopped drinking, but I have dramatically cut down the amount of time I spend at bars, and also now, even when I am out, I am drinking way less. I think those two things are playing a huge part in me being happy. Also, I have been eating very healthy and working out all the time. I am finally happy and confident with my body, and I like how I look. I have never in my life felt good or confident about my body, and i was always embarrassed, but now I feel good about it. My new job is going great also. Finally, I think for the first time in a very long time, I have a very good read on my friends, and I know exactly where I stand with all of them. over the years, I think the mixture of my depression, smoking pot, and me not having good self esteem, always made me wonder about my friends, and who my true friends were and things like that. Now, I am truly confident and happy with all of my friends. Also, now that I have been going on some dates and meeting new people, hearing the good things they have to say about me and listening to them talk about why they like me, is def. a confidence builder. It is good to know that people like you.
Obviously, there are some things in my life I wish were different and I wish I could change, that would make me the happiest person in the world, but for now, I am ok with how I feel now and happy with the fact that for the first time, I am truly happy with myself and my life.