marriage

People always say that divorce rates are so high and that marriage doesn't work etc.. I find that so depressing and just overall not true. Yes, some marriages are not going to work, but if I take a look at the people in my life who are in that position or very close and compare it to the people who have been divorced, is is not even close. I will just look at all the weddings I have been to (26), people I know that are currently engaged (5)( congrats btw to Erin, Matt, Mondo, Bill, Bridget), and other friends of mine that I know who are married whose wedding I didn't go to(14) That is 45 people that I know that got married or are engaged, and out of that, 5 of them are divorced.

I think the people that are bitter towards marriage or say bad things about it or always quote high numbers of divorce, are just jealous or angry or there is something going on with them, where they need to just say bad things about things and people.

Perception

They say that you learn something new every day. I don't know if I fully believe that, but I do know that you every day your thought on something or your perception about something/someone does change. 2 days ago, I was in the car of one of my friends. We saw the guy on president street that has no real arms and no real legs, and is always out there begging for money. The person I was with stopped her car, rolled down her window and almost emptied her wallet out for this guy.
At first, I was a little shocked at first, and the said, I wish I could have given him more!!!!
She said " what an awful deal he has gotten". It made me think 2 different things. Seeing someone like that really puts in perspective that no matter how bad or shitty you think your life is at that moment, there are always other people that have it just as bad or worse. I know that sounds like a morbid thing to say, but I don't mean it like that.
I mean it like, it puts it into perspective when you hear people complain about something or you are sitting around being depressed, you have to think that things could be worse, and people that have it worse find ways to make it work, so people need to stop complaining about stupid, little things, and realize how good you have it.

It also made me realize, that some of my friends are truly good people, and every day someone does something that reminds me of that.

The BAR exam

Today and tomorrow is the bar exam, and I am very curious how 2 specific people do on it. It just makes you think what money can do vs. not having the money.

The first person taking the test is a girl I know who is one of the smartest people I know and went to Law school and did great in law school and has studied very hard and done everything she can.

The other person is one of my guy friends, who was never good in law school, it took him a very long time to finish, he has never been good at studying etc., but he has spent thousands and thousands on pre-tests and study groups and done every single thing that money can buy to prepare for this test.

I am curious how being able to spend all that money for the practice tests and study groups will help compared to someone who couldn't do any of that and just had to study on her own at home.

Friend with Benefits

I recently got asked if I wanted to seriously date and be with someone I actually like, or do I just want a friend with benefits. I think a lot of people if they are single right now, think about this a lot. As soon as I was asked, my answer was very easy and simple.

I am done with friends with benefit stuff, and I am done just meeting a girl just to fuck around with her. Living where I live, and living the life I do, it is easy to meet girls, its easy to hook up, and I am just over that. It sounds weird when I say that to myself, bc what guy doesn't love to hook up, but it just loses so much when it is just a random hook up or someone you don't really like that much.

I have to start thinking about what I really want out of my life and what I really want out of a girl, and I have realized that I am done with the random hook up, and I want someone I can date and like and enjoy being around.

moving on from true love

This is one of the hardest things I will ever have to do in my life. The true love of my life( after months of back and forth with us) has let me know in a very mean and rude way that she is 10000000% done with me and never wants to talk to me or see me again, and for that matter doesn't even care what happens in my life.

Now I am left to date and meet new girls. The thing is, I know there are girls that like me, girls that want to date me, etc..yet, I sit here wondering what do I really want, what type of girl do I want, do I even want a relationship, will I be thinking of my ex the whole time, should I try to get her back, should I just leave it alone, do I tell the next girl I date about her etc...

After my wife cheated on my and crushed me, I promised myself I would never let myself get hurt and crushed like that again. 3 year later, I open up my life and world to a new girl, and at the end of the day, the same thing happens( not the cheating per se, but the crushing of my heart). The difference is that I loved and cared way more this girl then I did for my wife. So here I am, heart-broken and crushed again by another girl I loved. How do I move on from here? How do I trust from here? How do I open up to another girl again? Will I ever find true love again? Do i just settle for something I know isnt true love?

whats wrong with my eating

Last night was a perfect example of how I eat to much, even when I am not hungry. I am always saying I want to eat less, and I want to eat healthier, but I never do.
I went out to dinner last night, and I saw they had chili on the menu. I just wanted to get a bowl of chili. It sounded like the perfect thing. Instead I ended up splitting a bunch of apps( lobster ravoli, crab dip, calamari) and I also get a cup of chili. I didn't want to eat all of that, yet I ordered it all anyway. I have never been able not to eat, and I hate that about myself.