Death of a parent

My mom died years ago, and it is something that I will never be able to truly get over. The thing is, sometimes I think it is weird that I do not miss her more or certain things do not make me think of her. An example is, I can watch a show on tv where someone loses their mom, and I don't think about it. Other times, something random will happen or someone will say something random about a topic, and it will trigger thoughts of my mom.

Then there are times like today when it is all I can think about. A buddy of mine, his dad died in his sleep last night. I grew up with him and knew his dad very well. Hearing this news made me think of my mom, and made me miss her very much. It made me just want to drive over to my friends house and give him a hug and tell him it will be ok, but then I remembered that as good as all the cards and hugs and good things that people do and say are, nothing can truly help and nothing can bring that person back. All that can help is being there for that person in any way they need. As I type this, I realize that no words can truly explain what I am thinking now, and what is actually going through my head, but writing things down is the closest thing I have to expressing my feelings.

His death also made me remember how awful it is to lose a parent, and how every day it is happening to someone else. I remember thinking when my mom died, that I never want anyone I know to have to go through the pain of losing a parent. I had friends parents die before my mom, and I was sad, but I never truly got and understood the pain and the loss, because I had not experienced it. I know that sounds crass, but it is true. I knew it was an awful event and I was there to help, but I truly didn't know what to say, how to act, or how to help.

Unfortunately, death happens, and all I can do is be there for people when it happens, and be able to give them a person to talk to about anything and to be there for them, and hope that my experience can somehow help them through their tough time. The loss of a parent, no matter what age, is the hardest thing in life to deal with, and I feel so bad and so awful for anyone that has to feel that pain.