Do I hate myself?

The easy answer to this question should be of course not, but over the course of my life and especially the last year or so, I am starting to think that I may. I have always had a gambling, addictive type of personality towards a lot of things, but I am starting to see how that had backfired on me, and now I have no idea what to do and how to change it.
As I told someone recently, I feel like I am in a deep hole that I dug myself, and I can't get out of it. I dig myself deeper and deeper in this hold by making certain decisions about my life, and then when I get so deep, I start to find my way out of that hole anyway possible, and it may not always be the best way to get out, but I finally find myself standing on level ground above the hole, and then I immediately find myself right back at the bottom of the hole. 99% of the reasons that I always ending up being back in the hole, are made my me and it is like I am purposefully making these bad choices and bad decisions just to make my life harder. Every decision I make about my life from how to spend my money, where to work, what to do on a nightly basis, how to handle my girl life, etc.. I know what I want to do, and I know what I should do, yet I keep finding myself doing the opposite of both. I have no idea why I do that, and I have started to see someone professionally to try to figure it out, but it really bothers me why I do that.
Recently I have made some decisions about my girl life, my friends, how I am spending/saving my money, and now currently what to do about my job, that I am thinking I may not have made the right decision on any single one of those. In each of those, I may have made the right choice for part of it, but overall, it is like I know what I truly want, yet I do something different. I am not sure why I do that, but until I stop sabotaging my own life, I am never going to be able to be happy and/or get out of these holes that I dig.