you only live once

As one of my friends just told me, you only live once, so you mine as well enjoy every second of it. I know this sounds like a corny line, but when you really think about it, you really only do live once, and you need to enjoy your life. Dylan has a song all about it, Cake has a song about it, etc…, but the bottom line is that you really only do live one life. Each person takes this a different way, and when I say this to people, it comes across as sounding as an excuse for getting wasted all the time and doing stupid things like that.
That is not what I mean at all. For each person it could mean something else, but it means you should be able to just enjoy your life and not be afraid try something new, and just always be happy. For some people that means reading a good book every night, for some people it means jumping out of a plane, the point is for each person it means something different. For me it means, not being afraid to try new thing, and not backing down to something just because I think I wouldn’t like it or enjoy it. I look around a lot and I see people making decisions all the time that I feel they are just making because they are afraid of something, or afraid of how someone will view them, or they think that it is maybe it isn’t something they want to do.
I am not in a position to judge anyone for their choices, I just know I am at the point in my life, where I am sick of not doing things because I am afraid or scared or I think someone will judge me in a certain way.
As I said earlier Dylan said” if your not busy being born, then you’re busy dying” and Cake said “ As soon as you’re born, you start dying, so you mine as well have a good time”. They are both sort of morbid, but they both have a meaning behind them.

my tattoo

People always ask about my tattoo and I always end up telling them the story about my mom and how she lived out west for so long and I spent so much time out there with her, and how I wanted to get something to remind me of her every day. I do eel bad sometimes when I tell people the story, because it is sort of a depressing story, and I never want to bring anyone down.




The yellow field and red symbol colors are the colors of Spain. First brought to New Mexico by Spanish explorers in 1540. On New Mexico's flag we see a red sun with rays streching out from it. There are four groups of rays with four rays in each group. This is an ancient sun symbol of a Native American people called the Zia. The Zia believed that the giver of all good gave them gifts in groups of four. These gifts are:

* The four directions - north, east, south and west.
* The four seasons - spring, summer, fall and winter.
* The day - sunrise, noon, evening and night.
* Life itself - childhood, youth, middle years and old age.

All of these are bound by a circle of life and love, without a beginning or end.

Web Pages I love

http://mylifeisaverage.com/
www.wwtdd.com
www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com
www.saidinbed.com
www.textsfromlastnight.com
www.awkardfamilyphotos.com

Trusting Girls

People always assume that guys are jerks and liers, and when a relationship goes bad, it is always the guys fault. Well, twice in the last month, I have seen things that just re-itterate how un-trustworthy girls can me, and it makes it tough to know that there are good, trusting girls out there, when I keep seeing things like this. Yes, I have seen 5 different marriages ruined by girls cheating, but I don’t judge that, and this has nothing to do with them.

2 weeks ago I was at the Oriole game with a bunch of my buddies. There was a girl in front of us with her boyfriend and they were arm and arm all night long. Around the 7^th inning, he got up and walked away, and the minute he walked away, she turned around and was all over one of my buddies. They were flirting and touching each other and everything, then 15 minutes he came back, and she want back to sitting with him and never turned around to look at my friends. Of course, we were all laughing at him, but my buddy that is engaged leaned over to me, and said he never wanted to be that guy and have a girl like that. I agree with him 100%. If I was dating a girl, and I knew she was doing that when I walked away, it would crush me. It is girls like that, that make good girls look bad.

Last weekend I was at a wedding, and there was a girl that was non-stop flirting with everyone at the wedding. She was all over every guy at the wedding, and back at the hotel she continued to be all over each guy. At about 215 am, she was flirting with one guy, and her boyfriend through the guy down to the ground and threatened the guy and said not to flirt with his girlfriend. The point of that is, this girl was all over every guy all night long, and her boyfriend was there the whole time. What was wrong with this girl that she felt the need to do that? If I was dating a girl, I would never want her to do that.

I know there are good, trusting girls out there, but things like this keep popping up.

Always the center of the social scene

For as long as I can remember, I have always been in the middle of the social scene no matter how old I was or where I was living. I am sure there are many reasons for this, and everyone I talk to has a different opinion on this, but all that matters to me, is I am no longer feeling the need to be that way, and it makes me happy. I guess since I moved to the city 2 years ago I have slowly been that way, but I am now truly seeing how stupid and dumb that was. I used to be so concerned about making sure I was out having a good time, and that I knew everything going on with everyone, etc. and I think I missed out on some really good times and really good friends because I was so worried with making sure I was trying to be every where at one time.

I have thinking a lot about this, and I have probably 2 pages of things I want to write about this, but I am just to tired to do it now.

Not drinking so much

I have hit a point in my life where I am not drinking as much, and I am truly happy about that. I know so many people that hit that point years ago, or never really drank that much to begin with, but with my group of friends and the way we live and what we do for fun, drinking and partying has always been part of our lifestyle.
I am at the point in my life now, where I am not only drinking as much, but I am able to go out to a bar or hang out at a house or party where people are drinking, and I can hang out and have just as much fun with out being wasted.
I still go out and have my fun, and yes I do get drunk, but it is nothing like the way I used to party. The other night I went out and met everyone at the bar for a little bit, and every person was asking me where I have been and what I have been up to, just because I hadn't been to the bars with them recently, and I realized that most of these people may not be my true friends, just guys that like to drink with me at the bar.
This has also showed me, that I am happy with myself and that I don't need other people to think a certain way about me, where as I used to care a lot what people thought about me. I guess what I mean by that, is because there is always this perception of me as a partier and stuff like that, that even if I didn't drink or go out for a year, most people would still view me as this crazy party guy and think I was out of control. I have given up trying to show to people that I have changed and all the good things about me, if people don't want to see for themselves and always want to view and think of me a certain way, I am not going to go out of my way to show them any different.

Emotions can change so quickly

The last 36 hours of my life have been probably the best 36 hours I have ever had, and yet here I am 12 hours after that thinking that this is starting the worst 36 hours I have ever had. It is amazing how quickly my emotions can change all because of one person, I hate that one person can have so much control over me and my emotions.

From this point on, there is no more letting one person have that much control over me.