Enabler

As I reflect back on my teenage years, and how that has affected me now, I realize that a lot of the things I do, I probably wouldn't have done in such excess if it was not allowed to such a degree. We all have those people's parents who growing up let them get away with more things then others, but no one had the type of parents like our one friend. His parents were not only very laid back, but they way they encouraged us to party, drink, gamble, hook up, etc.... lead to some crazy times. Looking back on it, I can see why none of our parents wanted us over there and around that type of lifestyle.



These parents were probably the most loving set of parents towards their kids, that I have ever been around. The problem was, they let them get away with so much, that it rubbed off on us, and for that reason, we, as a group, would never leave there.

As we got older, the behavior stayed the same. Now, it was ok for us to all get hammered, have parties, bring girls over, and do all that in their house, only now we could all drive home after getting hammered all night. Again, at the time, we thought this was the best thing ever, but the more I think about it, I will never, ever want my kid to be around an environment like that.



Starting freshman year in high school, we all knew this house as the place we could go any day of the week and do whatever we wanted in the basement. We knew that no matter what, we could get away with anything, and nothing mattered. An example would be a Monday night when we would go to get all you can eat wings. We would go there after, and if we had a GF we wanted to hook up with, but we couldn't bc our parents didn't want them in the house for some reason, people would take that girl to this house, while the kids that live there were out eating, and they would just drink a beer and hook up in the basement. This doesn't sound like a big deal, but looking back, we had parents letting kids that are not their own, come over where their own kids are not home and drink and hook up in the basement. That is just one example, but over time, this started happening over and over, day after day, week after week, etc...



Then the parties started happening, and things at this house really took off. We all knew as his friends, that when Friday came, we would pretty much all be crashing at this house all weekend. We also knew that where ever the high school party was that weekend, whenever it got busted, the whole world would show up at this one house where we were. When it came out that his mom was a lawyer and she kept helping us, that is really where things got bad.



We had this women who was already encouraging 14-18 year old kids to party, drink, get high, have sex, etc. in her basement, was also going to court with us and getting us out of any trouble we were in. Speeding tickets, possession of drugs, dui's, dwi's, drunk in public, it didn't matter. She would to go court, and we would get it thrown out. Years of that, gives you this complex that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, because no matter what, you are above the law. It is because of this, that I do not judge her own kids for the decisions that they make in life, because they have lead their whole life like this, and I would act the exact same way if my parents were like that.



Over the years, these parents became so ok, with what we were doing, they started encouraging their sons to have parties, have everyone over and get as wasted as possible, gamble all night, and do whatever, as long as you didn't drive home. I understand the concept behind their thinking, but over all, the way they enabled us to do whatever we wanted, was not good for any of us in the long run.



I am not blaming my actions today on what happened in the past, I am merely saying, that it didn't help.