I know I do not always tell you how I appreciate our friendship, but I do. I know I always seem to tell you all the positive things going on in my life, and always make seem that things are great and perfect, but they are not, and for some reason I have no problem talking about the good things, but never, ever the bad things. I am working hard to stop talking about all the good things, bc as good as some things are, there are plenty of things that are bad and wrong, and if I am not going to talk about them at all, why should I be talking about all the good things.
As you know, I have always been depressed and that is something that is never going to truly go away, but I am working on it. For the last couple of months, I have been pretty depressed. I know I say everything is good, and I always try to be happy, but the truth is I am not.
The reason I am telling you this, is not for you to feel sorry for me at all, since there is nothing you can really do, it is more to let you know what is going on with me, and to try to explain things to my friends. I have realized part of my depression is that I am not truly with myself, and part of that comes from not being able to be open and honest with my friends. If I look at someone as my best friend, I should be able to talk to them about good and bad things in my life, not just the good things, and then pretend everything is good when it is really not. You are one of my best friends, and I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it a lot. You two have always been there for me, and I know I can always count on you guys for anything.
4 comments:
response #1-
Yo buddy, I could kind of tell that you have been feeling down on yourself. Any time you want to talk about this shit pick up the phone and call me (not before 8:00AM though, ha) or stop by and we can go out and get a beer. I used to get in the habit of holding things inside of me but that only makes it worse. What are the things now that are depressing you? I feel like some times that you have shit on your mind but don’t really want to talk about it sometimes. Don’t hesitate with me. I’ll tell you what I think and you can take it for what it’s worth.
Me you and &*^%% have an incredibly tight bond that we’re never going to let slide. And that is something that I’m incredibly grateful for.
Response #2:
Thanks for keeping us on the same page. If I may speak for Brad, you're one of our best friends and we're here for one another regardless of the situation; good or bad. Don't be hesitant to tell us if you're in a rough spot or if something's nagging at you. By the same token certainly don't stop telling us about the good things either. Think of us as brothers. It hasn't been lost on me for a moment that I've benefited, not only from having a great bunch of friends, but also from 4 siblings looking out for me over the years. As far as I'm concerned you guys are an extension of my family and I hope you consider us the same J.
Response #3:
It's tough putting on a front in life. I did it when I was married. I wasnt happy, and I just drank and kept to myself before I blew up. Yeah, I got crazy and did all sorts of great drugs, but if anything to just release from what had been holding back my childhood...seriously, childhood.
No one knows what has truly happened between you and Amy but you guys. All I know is when I let Roxann into my life, I thought that I was happy and that she was what I truly wanted. Within a day of hanging out with her I realized that she wanted the same things in life she wanted before and that that was why I was truly never happy...our dreams were different.
The reason I tell you this is because I think I know how you feel. As a friend, honestly, I would see what it feels like to not have any relationship with Amy. Regardless of what she tells you now, it was never meant to be. People can make mistakes and say they've changed, but not a lot of people truly do.
Anyways, I know you have your things, I am the last person on Earth to pry. I come from the school of thinking, if it needs to be said, say it.
Alright, I got to go back to working from the confines of my house. I am out of weed and am texting jones today. Peace.
Final Response:
That means a lot to me. You're like a brother to me, you know if you ever do want to talk or anything, I'm always there for you.
Post a Comment