When I first started blogging, I didn't really have a purpose. Over time, I realized that blogging was a chance to get a lot of thoughts and opinions out. It is nice to be able to organize my thoughts etc.
I have about 15-20 blogs I have written and saved and for some reason never posted. I will be re-posting all of them, along with writing more.
There is no reason for me to write this stuff and then just leave it in draft form. It is nice to be able to go back and see how I felt about certain things at certain times.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Working out really does help
Regardless of how much I get in shape and how quickly I can turn my body around, I feel so good when I leave the gym.
I used to dread working out and not like it, but now I look forward to it. It is something I can focus on and something that makes me feel good.
I will never get super jacked and no matter what I will not get fat, but I just want to get tone and fit.
Going to the gym makes me feel good and happy and it makes me sad that I stopped it for so long in my life.
I used to dread working out and not like it, but now I look forward to it. It is something I can focus on and something that makes me feel good.
I will never get super jacked and no matter what I will not get fat, but I just want to get tone and fit.
Going to the gym makes me feel good and happy and it makes me sad that I stopped it for so long in my life.
Questions I ponder?
Be it boredom, be it the mental breakdown I am going through. Either way, these are some of the questions that are floating around in my head:
- Do homeless people have sex? If they do, where and with who?
- Have I ever really recovered from the divorce and what lead to it and what happened to me?
- Did I get married to young and impulsively and for the wrong reasons?
- Can dogs really tell when you are sad?
- Does my dog understand anything I say to her or just the inflection in my voice?
- Is online poker truly rigged by very smart computer programmers?
- Can someone really be a sex addict or do they just love getting some?
- Why is people watching so f'ing enjoyable?
- When a tv show is very bad, like bad enough to be canceled after 4 shows, who is really to blame? Writer, Producer or Actors?
- What makes some people react so strongly to something where as the same event makes someone else react totally different?
- Will they ever invent a birth control that is 100% effective, bc obv. abstinance doesnt work?
- If there was a birth control that was 100%, but it had to be taken by men, how many guys would actually take it?
- When a women has an abortion, does she think about it ever again and wonder what if etc, or is it something she does, and then just tries to forget it happened?
- Why do people who do not know anything about sports try to always have conversations about sports in public? They are not impressing who ever they are trying to, they are just making themselves look stupid.
- If you know as a restaurant you serve something that isnt good and something that is never ordered, why keep it on your menu?
- If I won the lottery, how much would I change, if at all?
- Does true love exist, or is it more about finding someone you can spend your life with and you can grow to love them and be happy with, but it may not be true love?
- Do people just settle for someone that they can be happy with even if they do not truly love them, just because they are afraid of being alone?
- How can Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker be so great at fixing people up, but yet she can't get a guy?
- Do homeless people have sex? If they do, where and with who?
- Have I ever really recovered from the divorce and what lead to it and what happened to me?
- Did I get married to young and impulsively and for the wrong reasons?
- Can dogs really tell when you are sad?
- Does my dog understand anything I say to her or just the inflection in my voice?
- Is online poker truly rigged by very smart computer programmers?
- Can someone really be a sex addict or do they just love getting some?
- Why is people watching so f'ing enjoyable?
- When a tv show is very bad, like bad enough to be canceled after 4 shows, who is really to blame? Writer, Producer or Actors?
- What makes some people react so strongly to something where as the same event makes someone else react totally different?
- Will they ever invent a birth control that is 100% effective, bc obv. abstinance doesnt work?
- If there was a birth control that was 100%, but it had to be taken by men, how many guys would actually take it?
- When a women has an abortion, does she think about it ever again and wonder what if etc, or is it something she does, and then just tries to forget it happened?
- Why do people who do not know anything about sports try to always have conversations about sports in public? They are not impressing who ever they are trying to, they are just making themselves look stupid.
- If you know as a restaurant you serve something that isnt good and something that is never ordered, why keep it on your menu?
- If I won the lottery, how much would I change, if at all?
- Does true love exist, or is it more about finding someone you can spend your life with and you can grow to love them and be happy with, but it may not be true love?
- Do people just settle for someone that they can be happy with even if they do not truly love them, just because they are afraid of being alone?
- How can Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker be so great at fixing people up, but yet she can't get a guy?
Friday, September 9, 2011
deadlines
Deadlines are something we all deal with. Every person handles them differently. Some people will take whatever they are doing and put it off to the bitter end, knowing that they can rush and hurry and it will get done. Some people know the deadline is there, but they always take care of what they have to way before the deadline is approaching that they never even know when it is. Some people get so nervous and afraid of deadlines that it doesnt matter if they finish early or finish at the bitter end, they have been so razzled and thrown off because there was a deadline set, that whatever the deadline was for, they messed it up.
I personally like deadlines. They do not stress me out, they do not bother me. Sometimes I take care of what I have to way before the deadline is up, other times I come down to the wire. Either way, deadlines do not stress me out, if anything they motivate me. I never want to be rushing and getting stressed at the end, so I do whatever I have to, to try to finish the task way before the deadline.
That all being said, this most recent deadline does have me stressed out. It has me both upset and worried. I have never felt this way with anything in my life. I guess only time will tell if I make the deadline or not.
I personally like deadlines. They do not stress me out, they do not bother me. Sometimes I take care of what I have to way before the deadline is up, other times I come down to the wire. Either way, deadlines do not stress me out, if anything they motivate me. I never want to be rushing and getting stressed at the end, so I do whatever I have to, to try to finish the task way before the deadline.
That all being said, this most recent deadline does have me stressed out. It has me both upset and worried. I have never felt this way with anything in my life. I guess only time will tell if I make the deadline or not.
Monday, September 5, 2011
no drinking september
All I ever do is talk about how I am going to make these drastic changes in my life be it in regards to drinking, money mgmt, working out, etc..and yet I end up just saying a lot of words and my actions do not back up what I am saying.
That stops now. I am not giving up drinkings all together, because I do know that I am sure I will have some drinks either at a vt game or ravens game this month, but I have to start somewhere, so starting today, I am laying off of the drinking and going out at least for this month, and then I will re evaluate my life based on how this month goes. I would like to say, I am going to go the next 30 days not drinking at all, but I know that is not true. Right now, I know that I will not get drunk at all, I will not do any shots at all, I will not be drinking during the week at all(not that that happens a lot), and if I am out for a game or for an event on the weekend, I may have a beer or two, but no getting drunk at all.
I hope I can do this and I need to do this for me both mentally and physically.
That stops now. I am not giving up drinkings all together, because I do know that I am sure I will have some drinks either at a vt game or ravens game this month, but I have to start somewhere, so starting today, I am laying off of the drinking and going out at least for this month, and then I will re evaluate my life based on how this month goes. I would like to say, I am going to go the next 30 days not drinking at all, but I know that is not true. Right now, I know that I will not get drunk at all, I will not do any shots at all, I will not be drinking during the week at all(not that that happens a lot), and if I am out for a game or for an event on the weekend, I may have a beer or two, but no getting drunk at all.
I hope I can do this and I need to do this for me both mentally and physically.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Depression and Suicide affects millions and is real
Recently Mike Flannagan killed himself. There has been a lot of debate and talk about why he did it and where his head was at. At the end of the day, people have no idea why he did it and they think that all of the things that have come out are stupid and no one understands how he could do something over which seems to trivial.
The thing is, that most people do not understand what it is like to suffer from that type of depression. Unfortunately, I do know what it is like. When you suffer from that, you view the world in a totally different way. You see things very different then most people. You learn to put on a front and a show to cover how sad and depressed you really are. You are able to have fun and you try to live your life, but on the inside you are in pain and you are getting pull down by yourself each day. You take everything personally and you put blame on yourself, even when no one else is blaming you or thinking negative of you, you find a way to convince yourself something is not only your fault, but that every person around you is blaming you. It makes you question everything you do and it makes you think that no matter what you do, even if people are being nice and/or complimenting you, that it is still wrong and you are still messing up.
Depression affects a lot of people a lot of different ways, but it is that overall feeling that no matter what you do, you are not right and no matter what you do, you can get happy that drives so many people to suicide. So many people say that suicide is weak and cowardly. Those people that say that do not suffer from depression and they have no idea the toll it takes on you mentally. I am not condoning it at all, but I am also not saying it is bad.
When you suffer from this depression, it affects the way you think, and suicide is just an awful affect of it. There is no cure for it. You can do counseling, you can take meds, etc., but overall the only way to try to get past it is find someone and something in your life that makes you so happy, that over takes the depression. The problem with that is if you ever lose that or if you ever doubt that it is making you happy, you will slip directly back into that life of depression.
Another thing that can be done, which so many people do not do, is admit that they are sick and have a problem and that they need help.
The thing is, that most people do not understand what it is like to suffer from that type of depression. Unfortunately, I do know what it is like. When you suffer from that, you view the world in a totally different way. You see things very different then most people. You learn to put on a front and a show to cover how sad and depressed you really are. You are able to have fun and you try to live your life, but on the inside you are in pain and you are getting pull down by yourself each day. You take everything personally and you put blame on yourself, even when no one else is blaming you or thinking negative of you, you find a way to convince yourself something is not only your fault, but that every person around you is blaming you. It makes you question everything you do and it makes you think that no matter what you do, even if people are being nice and/or complimenting you, that it is still wrong and you are still messing up.
Depression affects a lot of people a lot of different ways, but it is that overall feeling that no matter what you do, you are not right and no matter what you do, you can get happy that drives so many people to suicide. So many people say that suicide is weak and cowardly. Those people that say that do not suffer from depression and they have no idea the toll it takes on you mentally. I am not condoning it at all, but I am also not saying it is bad.
When you suffer from this depression, it affects the way you think, and suicide is just an awful affect of it. There is no cure for it. You can do counseling, you can take meds, etc., but overall the only way to try to get past it is find someone and something in your life that makes you so happy, that over takes the depression. The problem with that is if you ever lose that or if you ever doubt that it is making you happy, you will slip directly back into that life of depression.
Another thing that can be done, which so many people do not do, is admit that they are sick and have a problem and that they need help.
College Football is starting, I should be happy
Instead, I am in a dark depression and I can not even appreciate tonight and this weekend which I look forward to all year. I love football season, both college and nfl, yet I sit here in a dark depression and I can not get excited for any of it.
I have no idea how to get out of this
I have no idea how to get out of this
If I were to get back to online dating
A while ago I did it, and the one thing I remember from it is that the profiles that are listed are a complete waste of time. They are a combination of a giant lie mixed with people just saying what they want other people to hear, mixed with people leaving out all the important stuff. I have no desire to do this again and for that matter, I do not even want to date at all right now, but people keep telling me I need to date etc. Right now, I do not want to meet anyone new at all.
I get why people do that(lie on their profiles), because so many people either dont even read the profile or because they figure they can talk about all of that stuff in person. Also, not every person wants the exact same thing, but all you see on there are the same key words and same phrases. It would be refreshing is people were just totally honest. If you are on there to hook up and see where it goes, say that. If you are on there because you really want a relationship, say that. If you really like somewhere or something, say it. Instead, it is all generic and a lot of lies.
Below is what I would write if I were to get back on and do a profile. It will probably come across weird and wouldn't get any looks at, but at least I know it would be honest...
My name is Jason Levy and I am recently single. A while ago, I was on here and I met some very interesting people. To be honest, it seemed that if every person I met was somehow different then what they said on here. Old Pictures, false hobbies, making up what they are looking for etc. I do not want any more fakeness. Yes, like everyone, I am looking for that special person, but I know that true love can not be forced and/or found after one date. In my opinion, the person you end up with should also be your best friend and that is really what I am looking for. They should be the person you want to spend every second with. You can still go out and have fun and you can both have your own hobbies, but at the end of the day, you know you have the right person when you can enjoy sitting on the couch with that person and just being you more then any night out. It is tough to say what I am looking for exactly, because I do not have a specific type. The whole point of being online is to meet people you would not normally meet and to try to make a connection that you didn't know could be made. I do know I am looking for someone that can have a good time with me no matter what we are doing. I do not want someone that wants to go out to the bars every night and wants to always be partying, but at the same time, I do like to go out from time to time to have some fun, so I need someone that could go out with me and have a good time. Mainly, I need someone that can make me smile and someone that will love me for me and I can, in turn, love them for them. People are all so different, and it is impossible to tell if someone is a match for you just by looking at some pictures etc, because I think personalities matching up is the biggest thing. I know that every person has a past and I wouldn't call it baggage, but every person has stuff in their past that has shaped them with who they are today. A person's past should never interfere with their future. I hope that the person I meet would never judge me on my past, as I would never judge anyone else's past.
As for me, there are so many things I love. I am very laid back and not much upsets me. I can have fun doing anything. I have been told I am a "manly man" because of my love of sports(playing and watching) and poker and things like that. I never considered myself that, since I do not like hunting or fishing and stuff like that. I will say, that I will watch/DVR anything on tv. I get made fun of a lot, but I like most of the bravo shows(top chef, millionaire matchmaker, real housewives, etc), most of food network, crappy shows on MTV, all the law and orders etc. At the same time, I do truly love sports. I love all types of food. I go through phases of really eating certain foods, sometimes I try to eat super healthy, other times calories are the last thing on my mind.
I have recently gotten into running and I try to run at least 4 days a week now along with working out. I have traveled to over 15 countries, numerous islands and all over the US. Honestly, there is so much more I want to see, and most of that is inside the US.
I am interested in meeting someone new and not the same person that I have always met. I know it is tough for most people since for most of us, the only place you can meet someone is through a friend or family and that never really works out because you are just set up because you are both single. You can meet someone at work, but that normally ends up badly. Or, you can meet someone at a bar. Yes, that can be fun, but how many people can honestly say they met their true love etc at a bar. I understand why people are so negative about online dating, but I do not see the negative side of it. The point of this is to meet some new people, go on some dates, and to see if that connection is out there.
My name is Jason Levy and I am recently single. A while ago, I was on here and I met some very interesting people. To be honest, it seemed that if every person I met was somehow different then what they said on here. Old Pictures, false hobbies, making up what they are looking for etc. I do not want any more fakeness. Yes, like everyone, I am looking for that special person, but I know that true love can not be forced and/or found after one date. In my opinion, the person you end up with should also be your best friend and that is really what I am looking for. They should be the person you want to spend every second with. You can still go out and have fun and you can both have your own hobbies, but at the end of the day, you know you have the right person when you can enjoy sitting on the couch with that person and just being you more then any night out. It is tough to say what I am looking for exactly, because I do not have a specific type. The whole point of being online is to meet people you would not normally meet and to try to make a connection that you didn't know could be made. I do know I am looking for someone that can have a good time with me no matter what we are doing. I do not want someone that wants to go out to the bars every night and wants to always be partying, but at the same time, I do like to go out from time to time to have some fun, so I need someone that could go out with me and have a good time. Mainly, I need someone that can make me smile and someone that will love me for me and I can, in turn, love them for them. People are all so different, and it is impossible to tell if someone is a match for you just by looking at some pictures etc, because I think personalities matching up is the biggest thing. I know that every person has a past and I wouldn't call it baggage, but every person has stuff in their past that has shaped them with who they are today. A person's past should never interfere with their future. I hope that the person I meet would never judge me on my past, as I would never judge anyone else's past.
As for me, there are so many things I love. I am very laid back and not much upsets me. I can have fun doing anything. I have been told I am a "manly man" because of my love of sports(playing and watching) and poker and things like that. I never considered myself that, since I do not like hunting or fishing and stuff like that. I will say, that I will watch/DVR anything on tv. I get made fun of a lot, but I like most of the bravo shows(top chef, millionaire matchmaker, real housewives, etc), most of food network, crappy shows on MTV, all the law and orders etc. At the same time, I do truly love sports. I love all types of food. I go through phases of really eating certain foods, sometimes I try to eat super healthy, other times calories are the last thing on my mind.
I have recently gotten into running and I try to run at least 4 days a week now along with working out. I have traveled to over 15 countries, numerous islands and all over the US. Honestly, there is so much more I want to see, and most of that is inside the US.
I am interested in meeting someone new and not the same person that I have always met. I know it is tough for most people since for most of us, the only place you can meet someone is through a friend or family and that never really works out because you are just set up because you are both single. You can meet someone at work, but that normally ends up badly. Or, you can meet someone at a bar. Yes, that can be fun, but how many people can honestly say they met their true love etc at a bar. I understand why people are so negative about online dating, but I do not see the negative side of it. The point of this is to meet some new people, go on some dates, and to see if that connection is out there.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Happy and Proud of yourself
As I have learned, the most important thing to being happy in your life is being able to be happy with yourself and to be proud of the person that you are. For a long time in my life I thought I was happy with my life but I realized I was not happy with myself and the things I was doing in my life that I thought were making me happy, were not at all. I worked very, very hard on myself and how I lived my life to become a person that I was proud of and I was able to lead a life I was proud of.
Recently, I have de-gressed a lot and I am back to being a person I am not happy with and a person I am not proud of. The problem is I keep making excuses for the way I act instead of doing things to change the negative things I am doing. I know what is wrong with me and I know what I want to be doing in my life and I know what I do not want to be doing, and yet, I keep finding myself trending towards the things I should not be doing. Instead of getting help for that and working on keeping myself happy and working on living a life I can be proud of, I keep doing things to bring myself down and I keep making excuses and using things as a crutch that I shouldnt.
A friend recently told me that they "truly think you are in a sturggle between who you want to be and who you are and the who you are wins over" She then told me that it was obvious to her and in turn should have been obvious to myself that I was starting to slip back into the old way, and instead of stopping it and dealing with it, I just let it happen.
I realize now I need to stop using all the negative things that have happenned in my life as excuses and I need to man up and do everything I can to get my life back to a life that I can be proud of.
Recently, I have de-gressed a lot and I am back to being a person I am not happy with and a person I am not proud of. The problem is I keep making excuses for the way I act instead of doing things to change the negative things I am doing. I know what is wrong with me and I know what I want to be doing in my life and I know what I do not want to be doing, and yet, I keep finding myself trending towards the things I should not be doing. Instead of getting help for that and working on keeping myself happy and working on living a life I can be proud of, I keep doing things to bring myself down and I keep making excuses and using things as a crutch that I shouldnt.
A friend recently told me that they "truly think you are in a sturggle between who you want to be and who you are and the who you are wins over" She then told me that it was obvious to her and in turn should have been obvious to myself that I was starting to slip back into the old way, and instead of stopping it and dealing with it, I just let it happen.
I realize now I need to stop using all the negative things that have happenned in my life as excuses and I need to man up and do everything I can to get my life back to a life that I can be proud of.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Heisman Prediction
Season starts Thursday and other predictions and picks will be coming soon, but this is who I see ending up in New York this year.
- Andrew Luck
- Marcus Lattimore
- Blackmon
- David Wilson
- Andrew Luck
- Marcus Lattimore
- Blackmon
- David Wilson
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)